Its getting close to the end of my School of Biblical Studies, we are now in the New Testament and I have two more months here then will be going to be back to good ol' Maine at the end of June =) I am excited to go back home, 9 months is a long time to be away from your family and friends especially being in such an intense school.
These past 7 months have been the most difficult, stretching, and transforming time in my life. I have learned SO much it is unbelievable. The one thing I keep asking myself is why have I never read the bible this way before? God is powerfully transforming my heart through His word. Being in the New Testament is more than I ever expected. Just going through Jesus' life here on earth is so so amazing. To see where he was and who he was with. The miracles He did! I can't believe I have never studied the word this way. When I say this school has been difficult that is an understatement. The first break we had when I came home for Christmas I was ready to give it all up. It was more than I thought I could handle. I was physically and emotionally drained the entire first semester. I thought WHY am I here? I was not being myself. I was even packing all my stuff, in my mind I was completely done. It was the day I was going to be flying home for break that God totally and completely changed my heart for this school. All I heard Him say was "You are past your breaking point, so just stay." It was true, I was so past my breaking point and God totally made my heart do a 360.So that was that and I stayed. Let me just tell you that I am so unbelievably thankful that I stayed. The Lord has been pursuing me like never before while I've been here. It is truly indescribable.
Last week we studied about Jesus' death and resurrection. All this time I've never really took the time and thought about what exactly Jesus went through. I think the biggest thing that really got me was when he was deserted by His disciples, left all alone after they had told Him they would never desert Him. THAT killed me. I can't imagine how he felt that very moment. He died for US. He died for ME. That concept was so foreign to me until now, though I knew in my mind He died for me. I don't think it ever really registered in heart until I read about it and studied it for myself. He made a way for us to LIVE! Now every time I read about his death and resurrection tears just start flowing down my face. With all that said, I believe doing this school is going to be one the best decisions I've EVER made in my life. It has set a foundation for the rest of my life and though it was SO stretching and so difficult, I would not give it up for anything.
"Surely he has borne our infirmities and carried our diseases
yet we accounted him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities
upon him was the punishment that make us whole and by his bruises we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray, we have all turned to our own way,
and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."[Isaiah 53:5-6]